Biblical Fathering, the role of the dad, Godly fathers

Mal 4:6
6 He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers…

Phillip Lancaster said.-" What this country needs is a few good men - husbands and fathers who are willing to love and lead their households with manly resolve and godly vision. Frankly, the Church needs these men every bit as much as the rest of the country. We are experiencing a national crisis of manhood of epidemic proportions. Absent a revival of fatherhood, we can expect to see an ever-increasing rise in the number of effeminate boys and masculine women, as well as the breakdown of the Christian family as it is defined in Holy Scripture. What we desperately need today are men who will be family men and family leaders."

I have never known my father nor have I ever even seen a picture of him. The only father I have ever known is my heavenly Father.
Oh sure my mom had dated and remarried, and I had men who tried to awkwardly fit the role of "Dad". And In turn I felt just as awkward as they did. Soon he was gone and another Dad came. Hey, it was the 70's nobody had a dad, at least none of my friends did.

The generation we are currently observing is steeped in fatherless families. In the Church, women are almost obligated to serve in key roles, usually filled by the men, because the men will not step up to lead.
As a Pastor I have counseled many couples and in many cases the problem was not so much the topic of the fight. It stemmed from the battle over the role of authority in the home and pride. Who's going to rule.
The wife had a leg in the pants and so did the husband. It simply cant work that way.

Men and Fathers, it's a Godly calling and obligation to lead your home spiritually.
In 1991 my wife was about to have our first child, we have 7.
We had made plans for a housekeeper/cook and I was excited about that! We were all prepared for a double income living, awesome church, and the perfect family life living a block from the beach in beautiful San Diego, Ca.
What I wasn't prepared for were the next words that proceeded from my wife's mouth…" I think God wants me to stay home, your are the man of the house now and I think I want to Homeschool all of our children." Woe! All our children? Me support the family?

My world view of the perfect single child family just got shot down the drain along with my surfing career. Up until then she brought home the biggest chunk of our finances. Basically I was a surf bum and proud of it.
12 yrs have gone by now and honestly, it has been a struggle for me, yet a joy to have had my heart turned towards my home and my children. The culture we live in is self centered and the priorities that have been instilled into many of us are self first, look out for #1, always make sure you get the best.
That's why Americans suffer from so much anxiety and depression. We never have what we want and if we do its still not enough, ect.

Jesus didn't come to be served but to serve.
Mark 10:42-45
42 Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

In other words we need to let His mind be in us.. a mind that is about serving others first.
Phil 2:2-4
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Our wife and children's needs come before ours.
Our children's best interest lies in the spiritual priority and example that you have set before them.
Our best interest should not be ourselves or satisfying our fleshly desires. Whether that be a day of golf, football, hanging with friends or the other sensual desires of the flesh.
As a Christian Father the first and greatest spiritual satisfaction you will receive in this life is that you have given your children a biblical foundation to build there families on.

I must humbly confess to you that I am a slow learner.
I had to be broken many times on my families altar, and I have wept many tears of pain. I would begin to excitedly lead my family after going to a seminar or conference and then slowly go back to living for self. (maybe you can relate.)
Then God would break me again and again. It took some time before I grew into and saw that my ultimate and greatest sacrifice was not so much offering God a living sacrifice or serving in my local church, and Pastoring although that's great and needed, but my sacrifice to God is my home, offering God my children, and a pure and holy wife.
After you are serving your home and spiritually leading your family then go serve your church and Pastor the flock God has entrusted you with.
I don't want my sacrifice to God to be a tattered bunch of kids and a frustrated neglected wife who has no respect for me because I'm to busy ministering to other families.
(been there)

So Fathers - spend some time in Prayer and seek the lord about turning your hearts attention and recommitting your heart to your home.
Even in this busy world there is time still to put off our other gods and spend time with the gift God has given us; our Families

Prov 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband's crown…
Prov 17:6 Children's children are a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children.