My first impulse is to react in the flesh and say it has got to be someone's fault that I have this Imbalance.
As a Pastor I am inclined of course to say its just
spiritual warfare, or my actions / reactions must be sin, it must be a lack of the fruit of the
Spirit i.e. self control
Has my life really been out of control? Can Christians have this
so called disease?
Are there Biblical answers for this and what do I do now?
As a Christian what are my biblical options? Col 3, keep my eyes focused on things above.... Forget the things behind press for the prize. Whatever is good, whatever is.... and all those verses are true and renew the mind, they increase our faith and give us strength when we are weak. Gods word has given us all things pertaining to Godliness.
But how do I deal with the inevitable "Chemical Imbalance" and Manic - Depression.
Many of my Pastor Colleagues and I have discussed that a Christian shouldn't take medication but to trust the Lord and the Word of God who alone can heal.
But now I am Bi-Polar and have had it for probably 30 yrs. Do I reject the medication that would help stabilize me and benefit my family?
I used to tell my wife and Kids (for example) God has called us to plant a church in Colorado or Idaho and yes we would pack and go do it. God was merciful and I believe He blessed my futile efforts and a church of 75 -100 would crop up in months and then I would get depressed and walk away from the very thing I dreamed about. I would literally crave in my soul, more than anything, to save souls to see people set free from addictions destructive lifestyles and abuse.
I am going to quickly answer some of the questions I have posed and do my best to help those believers that feel condemned, guilty or have been told several different things
1. Yes believers can definitely be bi-polar. I believe King David was bi-polar as well as King Solomon, Job, and the most famous preacher ever to approach a pulpit...C.H.Spurgeon. He was clearly bi-polar and wrote an incredible book on the subject called "dark nights and bright days"
Visit Spurgeons sermon on depression... a must read!
2. Should you take medicine or trust the Lord? As a Pastor I have been asked hundreds of times; "can I lose my salvation?" My response "live as if you can and enjoy Gods Grace!"
My response; take your meds and walk as close to the lord as you possibly can. Fill your heart and mind with Gods word, and follow your doctors advice. sure, at times it may be worldly but that's why God has given us His Word so that we may discern the ungodly from the Godly. throw out the bad and keep what works.
When I am going in for emergency surgery I don't stop the stretcher and ask the doctor if he went to a Christian medical school and if he is a trained Christian physician. Hey Doc, heal me and then let me tell you about Jesus!
Make Sense?
Doing all we can to live a healthy stable Christian life is exactly what thousands of Christian Bipolar victims have tried to do. Only to feel like they have failed again and again. I cant tell you how many times I have dusted my self off pick up my cross and started over again only to be told maybe your just not called to the ministry or maybe you just haven't really surrendered your heart yet.
I remember sobbing, many times, in the middle of the night; just me and Jesus as I would beg to find the peace it seemed other believers experienced. why not me?
How can I just have a consistent walk like they have?
I now believe it is possible. How? Paul said in Ephesians 6 - speaking on spiritual warfare, he said "having done all to stand, therefore stand."
1. I believe we have to do all to stand, again take all your medicine.
2. Spend more time in prayer; asking specific things i.e. strength, protection, discernment over thoughts, for a close bro or sister to talk to.
3. Become involved in a Solid Home Bible Study so you are fellowshipping with others; so you may see examples of a strong Christian Walk.
4. Journal; I hate journaling, every body tells me to do it. But then, somehow, I would be responsible for what I think and then I would have to do something about it... I hate that. But I have begun to write down my depressed thoughts anyway and my manic episodes.
what's a manic episode? I had one that lasted for a yr before I finally burned-out.
I was a Calvary Chapel Youth Pastor in 2003 studying for and teaching 13 bible studies a week (not exaggerating) to 100 students at a High School Seminary and and Church.
When the Sr Pastor told me he had a vision for a new College mid week study; I volunteered to staff it, oversee it, play all the Worship and do all the events, on top of all my other responsibilities. I kept the pace for 1 yr. Until one morning in the middle of a staff meeting I left the Church, my job, my wife and 5 kids to go surfing for the rest of my life. 2 days later I came to my senses and was brought home by a very cool brother who loved me!
Join me as I continue to probe the biblical view and answers for this destructive problem.
Bi Polar Believers?
You can read my testimony to see the destruction this has brought into my life Pastor Dave's Testimony Page 2
