Pornography is a Killer of the human Soul, Mind and Marriage.
I have been clean now for 8 yrs and at times I still struggle with the addiction. Thoughts can rewind movies in my head.
One of the first things I would like to say is that it is not your fault. And its not because your no longer attractive. So many women blame themselves for their husbands addiction.
Some would call it a disease, but I believe in the fruits of the spirit. "self control". We get so many emails and Its so sad to hear of so many men leaving their wives for Porn. This is definitely hard to counsel when so many men or women would choose porn over their families.
It just shows you how deadly Porn is.
The #1 way to help is; to communicate with him, even if it feels it is going no where. Try not to communicate while your angry. The best way is to agree to help him and that you may not understand but that your there to help.
This opens the communication door.
The best way to help your man is to change stores you shop at, there may be harmful magazines there. Also cancel your subscription to Victoria Secrets. in other words, "clean house". If you know where his magazines are throw them out in love.
Being a virtuous woman is not to tear him down and get angry but to build him up. Try to remember, this sin is no different than any other.
The next thing you may have to deal with is the internet. The easiest place to find porn is on the net. My wife and i have a great relationship and it stays that way because of the internet filter. We use "Linsky" you can find it at Wal-Mart it gives you complete control over what he is allowed to look at.
The only way to keep your man is to make sure he is willing to stay and work things out.
The shame of the sin is what drives them away,
Along with the addiction. If he is willing to stay and its possible, then pray together, and pray that God will give him a pure desire. It may take time for you to trust him again. But it can be done. One of the hardest things for me to do was to earn my wife's trust again.
Next is counseling; if he is willing go to some counseling and seek outside wisdom great. He may go kicking but it would help tremendously. The hard part is to find a counselor you both like.
Next is the psychological side he may be Bipolar. I am, and it was a huge added problem and was a another hurdle. He may just be bent to feeding his bipolar side. just a thought.... If you have any questions or would like some simple advice please email me dave@christian-internet.com
.......Pastor Dave Hallahan
